A while back I blogged about a man I was calling Yoga Jones. He was the one who complained about how it is just as miserable to be in a relationship as it is to be alone.
Yoga Jones and I spoke again recently in which he asked me about “tertiary relationships”.
Me: What in hell is a tertiary relationship?
Yoga Jones: You know, where your significant other just isn’t that attractive so you have to find someone else to take care of business.
My internal monologue: That’s literally cheating. Stop it with your middle class white boy word creation. You didn’t invent a new concept of relationships. No.
Me: I would be against that on principle.
Yoga Jones: But monogamy is literally a made up human construct.
My internal monologue: So is fast food and flag football and your paycheck and you seem to love those.
And at about this point my brain exploded. I found out later he had cheated on his girlfriend over the weekend and was basically trying to get me to help him feel better about it.
I am the friend who will help you feel better when you gain ten pounds. I will stay up late to help you study and proofread anything you need proofread. I will tell you when those jeans make your butt look less like the object of affection of any nearby large snakes and more like a pancake.
But I am not going to make you feel better for cheating on your girlfriend because she isn’t hot enough for you. I am not going to tell you it’s okay to hurt other people. Not telling someone that you did something wrong is not the same as not doing something wrong. “I wouldn’t want to tell her the truth because then she has to carry the guilt” is not an excuse.
If you aren’t happy, leave. Don’t break someone’s heart because you aren’t mature enough to be honest.