Have you ever met someone who, when they told you that the engagement ring their fiance picked out was chipped and had to be sent back, you immediately suspected that it was all a lie and she demanded he get another one because the rock was too small?
These suspicions of insanity of this creature are not out of the realm of possibility. This is the same person who, upon realizing my romantic interest in the man who turned her down for a date in high school, made up elaborate lies about him that I only discovered four months later. She also tried to keep apart her own brother and the girl he liked through equally ridiculous lies. Thankfully Liebling and I got together in spite of her efforts, and her brother is happily married to his lady, who is one of my best friends.
Yet somehow, despite the herculean effort it must have been, she has somehow convinced this guy that she is an actual human being with a soul. Despite the fact that she nags him constantly, is hated by his entire friend group, and has already (not two days after the engagement) begun bullying her own mother about the wedding, he has decided he would like to spend the rest of his life with her.
I am appalled, kittens. And there is simply no way to tell someone that the person they are marrying is probably not even a person under any moral classifications. And I am a stubborn thing and have tried it before, believe me.
I think at the end of the day it comes down to experience. The aforementioned pair is suffering from First Relationship Syndrome. You don’t think Hershey’s chocolate is bad unless you have had other chocolate. But you put a Toblerone in that Hershey-gobbling fool’s hand and they will see the light. You have to meet people. See what the world has to offer. That is my advice to any and everyone. Don’t marry the first person you date, don’t buy the first car you drive, and don’t drink that entire bottle of whiskey just because it is the only thing in your pantry.
And don’t forget the Spice Girls — if your friends would rather leap off your balcony than spend time on it with your girlfriend, you probably shouldn’t marry her.